Letter from a politician

Dear fellow party men,

I greet you at a momentous occasion in my life and the state I serve. It has been 50 years since I first entered politics. What a glorious time it has been for my family (thats worth Rs 150 crore), my state and my people (read: my family).

I rememeber the transition I made from films to politics. The days of struggle to bring purity to our 'culture' and our 'great language' lies fresh in my mind. Yet, today I feel deeply saddned by the events that have befallen our party (read: family). Recent differences have led to the loss of lives and property. This could have been avoided if the media had not highlighted our differences.

These problems have persisted over the years and in the process, there have been loss of lives and property. In this regard, I announce the formulation of 'Family Feud Fund', wherein those losing lives and their property will be adequately compensated from funds provided by the government.

I have always worked towards the rehabilitation of the down-trodden and women. In this regard, I have successfuly rehabiliated Mrs P, the wife of slain Mr P, a party loyalist (read: a thug who had several murder cases against him), who was killed in an encounter with the police a few years ago. The cries of despair from the innocent that rang in my ears have forced me to take a decision in this regard.

I take this occasion to announce the entry of my great-great-granddaughter Ms K in politics who will perpetuate my legacy and the party's vision (read: my vision), once she reaches adulthood. I have also planned to launch a new channel as per the wishes of the people (read: the party mouthpiece).

I thank the party cadres, my fellow countrymen, my followers and my fellow politicians for providing me the chance to serve my country and state at the highest level.

Your's artistically inclined politician

Mr K