Politics: The Ten Little Indians

Indians, will agree, in varying degree, that politics is quite an interesting field. The only field that requires that the applicant have no qualification or experience to be elected to a post, though decisions made as elected policy makers may tend to affect the lives of millions; an enterprise that requires very little capital but pays rich dividends for those making it big. Here are ten “endearing” individuals, who have left an indelible mark in our psyche with their “selfless deeds” and “public services” in their attempt to make it big in the “great Indian political circus”. First on my list of favorites is this maverick one-of-a-kind politician, who rose from being a milkman to a Chief Minister (and then a Central Minister). This man finds bovine companionship more comforting than human company. Having milked his cows for the first 30 years of his life, he is said to have continued the practice long after his ascend in the political scene. He is accused of milking the exchequer and amassing over Rs 900 corers.Second on the list is the fire-band leader from the East, who walked out of the grand old party to form a new party. Having hated the Communists, who have been ruling her State with a vice-like grip, she hoped her exit from the grand old party would pave the way in her becoming the Chief Minster of that State. After having walked in and out of several alliances, faster than crossing a busy national highway, she now finds no takers for a grand alliance to form a “Third Front”. Third on my list, is a woman from the North, who shares similar character traits with the one mentioned above but hails from a different ideological stable. Prone to quick temper but neither gifted with tact or reason, the lady’s over-vaulting ambition resulted in frequent clash with top leaders of her party. She was eventually shown the door from the party that nurtured her. Her much-vaunted rath yatra (awareness drive), before the State polls, was supposed to stir a sympathy wave and sweep her to power. Instead it just swept her into political wilderness.Fourth on my list, is this “honourable” Member of Parliament who is well-known in the country for his 12 "dishonourable" deeds that include murder, extortion, smuggling, only to name a few. A man who changes parties faster than one gets to changes his dress, this “respected” Member of Parliament is much respected in the political circles for his muscle power and a large well-armed, well-funded private army that could put an Italian Mafioso to shame.Fifth on my list, is a far less harmless variety of a politician, a man who rose from a humble agrarian background to become the Prime Minister, albeit, for a short tenure. This man, whose son later rose in revolt to upset daddy’s political applecart in a South Indian State, was eulogized as having empowered farmers with his electoral victory. He is widely know for his inefficiency and has been widely pictured with eyes wide shut during meetings. Sixth on my list is a person one can term as an “intellectual”. An IIT professor with a PhD from Harvard, he burst into the political scene in mid 90’s, hoping to be a kingmaker. Ten years since, this would-be-kingmaker has been reduced to a one-man party that regularly issues press releases that appear as single columns in the inside pages of a national daily. This aspiring kingmaker has been reduced to a political court jester.Seventh on my list is a politician from the West of India. As communal riots consumed his State, the Chief Minister sat justifying the reason for the riot. Known for his vitriolic speeches against the minority community, this man takes the pride of having safeguarded the self-respect of the majority community by inflaming their religious passion. Touted as the one of the most efficient Chief Ministers, he is also equally blamed for his efficient manner of protecting the perpetrators of the violence that killed thousands.Eight on my list, is a small-time South Indian politician who has made it big by stirring anti-English agitations and striking clever alliances at the Centre. He gets his regular share of kicks and publicity by blackening giant advertising hoardings written in English, while his London-educated doctor-son, serving as a Minister in the Central Government Cabinet, addresses national and local meetings in English and loves to get photographed in Western attire. Ninth on my list is a man who is past his prime and has crossed 80. At a time when most people seek retirement from politics, this man continues to hold steadfast an alliance, containing a cluster of parties that have diverse interests and ideologies. His decision to see his son as future leader of his party has not gone down well with other party workers and his second son. A gifted orator, writer, and novelist, he gets his daily rush of adrenaline by shooting barbs against the Chief Minster of a State. Tenth on my list, is a woman known as much for her vindictive nature as her steely guts. Though a political novice when she entered the political arena in the early 1980’s, she was quick to pick up the art of political one-upmanship. She and her omnipresent friend have been accused of large-scale corruption but court cases and electoral defeats have never rocked her boat. She gets her share of kicks by directing police to pick up political opponents from their homes in the middle of the night.